Walmart Curry
Ingredients:
-- bag of frozen chicken (Any part of the bird you like. I usually use breasts because they require no preparation aside from cutting up to add in last.)
-- can of coconut milk
-- curry powder
-- frozen vegetables (I use the stir fry mix but sometimes use a peppers and onions mix that's awesome.)
-- optional ingredients -- crushed red pepper, minced garlic, water chestnuts, diced potatoes and/or bamboo shoots.
Preparation:
Put chicken in 350-375 degree oven. Pour stir fry in a pan. Add curry powder (as much as you want.)
Walk away for 45 minutes to an hour. Don't turn the burner on until the chicken is about halfway done.
Turn the burner on medium and thaw the vegetables. When they're thawed pour in the coconut milk. Turn the heat to low.
When the chicken is done chop it up and throw it in the pan with the vegetables.
There's your fucking dinner.
It took almost zero skill and is healthier than a McGangbang.
I don't know the macros of this dish, nor do I care to get them because it's real food and they're not important when your dish consists of nothing but meat, vegetables and fat.
Also, if you want to substitute something for the chicken do so. This would work with beef or fish.
This dish takes about an hour to make but you don't have to tend to it for about 45 minutes of that time.
Breakfast Meal that isn't fucking Pop Tarts
Ingredients:
-- sausage
-- frozen peppers and onions (or fresh ones if you have the time.)
-- 3-6 eggs
-- optional ingredients -- potatoes, (I will sometimes use frozen, diced potatoes) spinach, and/or sweet potatoes (surprisingly, these work well.)
Preparation:
Put sausage in a pan. Turn heat to medium. If your sausage has a lot of fat, drain some off. When the sausage is about halfway done, add the peppers, onions and potatoes (if you're using them.) When the sausage is done and the potatoes are soft add your eggs. This is where most people mess up because they don't know how to cook a fucking egg.
Turn the burner to low. Not medium. Low.
Let the eggs cook slowly. If you have a lid, use it-- cover the pan and turn the burner almost off, stirring/turning occasionally. This should take about 10 minutes but the eggs won't be rubbery and burned.
This whole dish should take no more than 25-30 minutes from start to finish.
If you don't care about carbs, put this in a tortilla and add salsa.
I know sausage isn't the finest of meats, but it's better than Pop Tarts...
You could definitely substitute steak, chicken or some other meat for the sausage and it would be just as awesome.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
If You're Paying Attention to Details, You Already Fucking Suck
Let me tell you a story about "Dedicated Gym Guy."
Dedicated Gym Guy never missed a workout. He never skimped on his warmups. He probably had his nutrition "dialed in." (WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS)
I'd see Dedicated Gym Guy milling back and forth across the gym, completing maybe 4-6 sets of various lifts over the course of about 45 minutes to an hour. The rest of the time he was there, he did endless sets of prehab, rehab and various other bullshit that did absolutely nothing. He did endless sets of scap pushups and shoulder dislocations with a band to ensure optimum shoulder health, OBVIOUSLY.
The most I ever saw this guy lift was 115. He benched it. With a fucking arch.
He used perfect form on every single lift. Perfect. Fucking. Form.
I saw him over the course of about 6 months. I haven't seen him in a while.
The moral of this (true) story is:
Don't be a fucking pussy and waste your time on details.
Dedicated Gym Guy was so overly concerned with executing his 3 rep set of 115 pound bench presses correctly that he completely missed the "strength" portion of strength training.
I'm sure he weighed all of his cage-free, free-range, grass-fed, fuck-faced food., completely ignoring the fact that he could not have weighed more than 135... if that, even. (Side note-- A future post may be in the works, detailing what a complete and total sham the "organic" food industry is.)
My advice to those like Dedicated Gym Guy: EAT A FUCKING PIZZA AND LIFT WEIGHTS UNTIL YOU FIGURE IT OUT.
Getting caught up in the details will only make you fucking suck.
Go ahead, keep trying to make everything perfect.
Plan on being a tiny and weak human being for... the rest of your life.
Dedicated Gym Guy never missed a workout. He never skimped on his warmups. He probably had his nutrition "dialed in." (WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS)
I'd see Dedicated Gym Guy milling back and forth across the gym, completing maybe 4-6 sets of various lifts over the course of about 45 minutes to an hour. The rest of the time he was there, he did endless sets of prehab, rehab and various other bullshit that did absolutely nothing. He did endless sets of scap pushups and shoulder dislocations with a band to ensure optimum shoulder health, OBVIOUSLY.
The most I ever saw this guy lift was 115. He benched it. With a fucking arch.
He used perfect form on every single lift. Perfect. Fucking. Form.
I saw him over the course of about 6 months. I haven't seen him in a while.
The moral of this (true) story is:
Don't be a fucking pussy and waste your time on details.
Dedicated Gym Guy was so overly concerned with executing his 3 rep set of 115 pound bench presses correctly that he completely missed the "strength" portion of strength training.
I'm sure he weighed all of his cage-free, free-range, grass-fed, fuck-faced food., completely ignoring the fact that he could not have weighed more than 135... if that, even. (Side note-- A future post may be in the works, detailing what a complete and total sham the "organic" food industry is.)
My advice to those like Dedicated Gym Guy: EAT A FUCKING PIZZA AND LIFT WEIGHTS UNTIL YOU FIGURE IT OUT.
Getting caught up in the details will only make you fucking suck.
Go ahead, keep trying to make everything perfect.
Plan on being a tiny and weak human being for... the rest of your life.
 |
| HAVE FUN SUCKING YOU SPINELESS MORON (Picture unrelated) |
Monday, October 3, 2011
Beginners
Let's clear some stuff up; Most of the posts on this blog are not, in any way, geared towards beginners. What I post is basically aimed at intermediate to advanced lifters. If you struggle to squat 1.5 times bodyweight or can't bench bodyweight, this blog isn't for you. Stop reading it if you're impressionable.
I have some experience with rank beginners. My girlfriend became interested in serious strength training in the last 8 months or so. (By 'serious' I mean interested in acquiring strength, not just doing basic barbell lifts with light weight just to say you 'lift'.)
Hitherto training my girlfriend, I had no experience with starting someone from scratch. I knew what to do, but theory and practice are 2 different things.
I had her squat, press and deadlift with pullups mixed in.
The squat and press were for 5 sets of 3. I know that seems backward when compared to most beginner routines, but my reasoning is sound-- why induce fatigue when one's goal is strength? Sets of 5 aren't necessarily cardio or anything, but form is more easily maintained with lower rep sets. Also, heavier weights can be used. The emphasis is strength, so form is maintained and heavy weights (relatively speaking) are used-- win-win. Her sessions are not about conditioning and "feeling the burn," so form is pretty important. Coupled with the fact that she's under comparatively heavy loads, the importance of ingraining proper positions during the lift increases considerably.
I had her up the weight by 5 pounds when 5 reps on the last set were achieved.
Deadlifts were for singles. Again, this may seem odd, but it has worked really well. Each rep is 'fresh' and usually very good. Her DL session would look like this:
55-65% of work weight for either 3 singles or a set of 3 (depends on how proficient the lifter is with deadlifting.)
65%-70% for 3 singles.
75%-80% for 3 singles.
Work weight for 5 singles. Note: the last single weight is usually added, resulting in a PR, but if the lifter is very tired, or struggles with the 4th single, either the last is skipped entirely or the weight is kept and repeated next week, with the aim of adding weight to the 5th single.
She has been working on the same few lifts for months, and the results are good.
This brings me to the two most important part of this post: consistency and adaptation.
The biggest mistake a beginner can make is doing what others are doing. Reread that very carefully if you're new to lifting or teaching someone that is. With the preponderance of misinformation on the Internet, the worst thing a beginner can do is imitate what accomplished lifters are doing.
Accept the fact that you're a beginner and build a base. Let the adaptation process run it's course. It's ridiculous when someone new to lifting tries to tackle an advanced program with zero base of fitness under them. Doing quarter-squats with 185 and cheat curls with 25 pound dumbbells isn't going to do shit for you.
Go ahead, copy the Bulgarian system and max out every day. Or copy the routine of an advanced bodybuilder that has them lifting 7 days a week. I mean, there's no reason you can't do it... they just have years (and sometimes decades) more experience under the bar building their base of fitness.
The more you do, the more your gains will soar!!!!11!
Obviously the above paragraph and photo caption were sarcasm, but people actually think like that. So, how should a rank beginner set up a program?
Start with a few core lifts (some kind of push, pull and squat) and work them once or twice a week. Now, that means different things for different people. My girlfriend is still progressing on the overhead press, squat and deadlift routine, doing a session containing the squat and overhead press on one day and the deadlift only on another (because the lift is so taxing.)
Progress is pretty steady with her, so why change it? If your pull movement is lighter, (something like rows or pullups comes to mind) then throw it in on your squat and OH press day. This comes out to 1-2 days of actual lifting. Absolutely shocking you actually have to start somewhere to get anywhere. Radical concept, really.
Your reps can vary depending on your goal but make sure you have some sort of progressions scheme. I like the 'add 2 reps before you progress' system for beginners because it builds confidence and makes upping weight less intimidating.
If progress is being made, stick with what you're doing--don't change it. Reread the last sentence.
When progress stops (on most, if not all lifts) for 4-8 weeks, reassess what you're doing. If you need a form fix, do it and continue. If progress hasn't been made then you may need to add a day. Continue indefinitely.
This process takes years. Most people don't think that way because of how fast everything happens these days, but that's the way it is.
Constantly changing lifts and programs is a great way to fucking suck.
Adaptation is what you want, but if you're forcing your body to try and ingrain a new lifting pattern every 2 weeks, how far do you think you'll get? That's like switching majors every year and expecting a degree. Master a few lifts. Adaptation is adding weight to the bar (or gaining mass, depending on your goals [obviously I have a strength bias.])
So, if you're just starting out, get with (and stay with) a fucking program and prepare to spend the next few years building your base.
I have some experience with rank beginners. My girlfriend became interested in serious strength training in the last 8 months or so. (By 'serious' I mean interested in acquiring strength, not just doing basic barbell lifts with light weight just to say you 'lift'.)
Hitherto training my girlfriend, I had no experience with starting someone from scratch. I knew what to do, but theory and practice are 2 different things.
I had her squat, press and deadlift with pullups mixed in.
The squat and press were for 5 sets of 3. I know that seems backward when compared to most beginner routines, but my reasoning is sound-- why induce fatigue when one's goal is strength? Sets of 5 aren't necessarily cardio or anything, but form is more easily maintained with lower rep sets. Also, heavier weights can be used. The emphasis is strength, so form is maintained and heavy weights (relatively speaking) are used-- win-win. Her sessions are not about conditioning and "feeling the burn," so form is pretty important. Coupled with the fact that she's under comparatively heavy loads, the importance of ingraining proper positions during the lift increases considerably.
I had her up the weight by 5 pounds when 5 reps on the last set were achieved.
Deadlifts were for singles. Again, this may seem odd, but it has worked really well. Each rep is 'fresh' and usually very good. Her DL session would look like this:
55-65% of work weight for either 3 singles or a set of 3 (depends on how proficient the lifter is with deadlifting.)
65%-70% for 3 singles.
75%-80% for 3 singles.
Work weight for 5 singles. Note: the last single weight is usually added, resulting in a PR, but if the lifter is very tired, or struggles with the 4th single, either the last is skipped entirely or the weight is kept and repeated next week, with the aim of adding weight to the 5th single.
She has been working on the same few lifts for months, and the results are good.
This brings me to the two most important part of this post: consistency and adaptation.
The biggest mistake a beginner can make is doing what others are doing. Reread that very carefully if you're new to lifting or teaching someone that is. With the preponderance of misinformation on the Internet, the worst thing a beginner can do is imitate what accomplished lifters are doing.
| Why this eludes so many is truly beyond me. Stephen Hawking didn't completely skip every grade and start being a fucking genius one day. Lance Armstrong didn't get good at winning bike races by casually entering the Tour de France one weekend with his Huffy. Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't start bodybuilding with a routine consisting of 65 different movements 7 days a week. | |||
Go ahead, copy the Bulgarian system and max out every day. Or copy the routine of an advanced bodybuilder that has them lifting 7 days a week. I mean, there's no reason you can't do it... they just have years (and sometimes decades) more experience under the bar building their base of fitness.
The more you do, the more your gains will soar!!!!11!
 |
| Obviously no base of fitness was established... Arnie just started doing curls and DB flies one day and stepped on stage. |
Obviously the above paragraph and photo caption were sarcasm, but people actually think like that. So, how should a rank beginner set up a program?
Start with a few core lifts (some kind of push, pull and squat) and work them once or twice a week. Now, that means different things for different people. My girlfriend is still progressing on the overhead press, squat and deadlift routine, doing a session containing the squat and overhead press on one day and the deadlift only on another (because the lift is so taxing.)
Progress is pretty steady with her, so why change it? If your pull movement is lighter, (something like rows or pullups comes to mind) then throw it in on your squat and OH press day. This comes out to 1-2 days of actual lifting. Absolutely shocking you actually have to start somewhere to get anywhere. Radical concept, really.
Your reps can vary depending on your goal but make sure you have some sort of progressions scheme. I like the 'add 2 reps before you progress' system for beginners because it builds confidence and makes upping weight less intimidating.
If progress is being made, stick with what you're doing--don't change it. Reread the last sentence.
When progress stops (on most, if not all lifts) for 4-8 weeks, reassess what you're doing. If you need a form fix, do it and continue. If progress hasn't been made then you may need to add a day. Continue indefinitely.
This process takes years. Most people don't think that way because of how fast everything happens these days, but that's the way it is.
Constantly changing lifts and programs is a great way to fucking suck.
Adaptation is what you want, but if you're forcing your body to try and ingrain a new lifting pattern every 2 weeks, how far do you think you'll get? That's like switching majors every year and expecting a degree. Master a few lifts. Adaptation is adding weight to the bar (or gaining mass, depending on your goals [obviously I have a strength bias.])
So, if you're just starting out, get with (and stay with) a fucking program and prepare to spend the next few years building your base.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
The Final Deal With It: Muscle Bewilderment and The Shit in This Post is so Obvious it Doesn't Need to be Said.
Whatever you did today in the gym, continue to do it for the next 6-8.
Fuck what you read about changing programs and "shocking your muscles."
Get better at a few lifts, and when all your lifts look identical, from warm up to heavy single, then hammer the volume when you feel up to it.
Programs are written to be four weeks because that's when the new issue of "Men's Health/Muscle&Fitness/etc" hits magazine racks.
The people who are the strongest/fittest/etc stick with the basics. There are no exceptions to that.
Got a bar, plates and a rack?
Clean and press and back squat every day for the next 6 months.
I guarantee you'll be stronger than you are now by the end of it.
If you can't clean the bar, just press from the rack and do pullups throughout the day.
If you're cleaning and pressing, only do singles. Back squat should be kept in the 1-3 range.
Pressing from the rack? Keep the reps in the 1-3 range.
As for pullups, do half of your max reps 2-5 times a day. Or you could set a total number of reps to hit and do them in as many sets as you want throughout the day.
No equipment?
Go push your car, then, push it backwards, facing away or pull it walking backwards.
No car? Live in a big city where you'd get arrested for pushing a car around? Amish?
I'm not really into BW-only routines, but simplefit seems to work pretty well. One of the moderators ("cheapo") managed to make some remarkable progress simply by sticking with the routine and not program hopping after 6 weeks. (www.simplefit.org)
Love bodyweight stuff?
Pistols and muscle-ups for the next 6 months.
Live in an apartment?
Get something heavy (sandbag would be ideal in this situation) and hold it in the Zercher position. Walk up the stairs. However many flights it takes. If taking 1 step at a time is easy, do 2 steps at a time. Keep everything tight. I usually hate lunges because people wobble and shuffle around swinging and bending over but holding the weight in the Zercher position keeps you upright and walking up the stairs keeps your foot movement more "mechanical." When you get to the top get the bag in the press position and press it overhead. Reps will depend on the weight in the sandbag. Stick with strict overhead press or push press. Don't call your loose-as-fuck-sad-excuse-for-a-power-jerk a press if it isn't strict.
"But what about my upper back and scapula retractors and shit pulled from a physical rehabilitation clinic?!"
Have you ever held anything in the Zercher position?
Your upper, mid and low back will be worked, along with your biceps.
Food:
Eat real food. Food doesn't come in a box or ready-made.
3 times a day. Want to gain weight? More times a day. Want to lose weight? Fewer times a day or less food.
---EDIT---
If anyone actually goes forward with a "black and white" program (focusing on a select few lifts and hammering them frequently), let me know and keep me updated.
Stop switching programs to avoid adaptation.
Adapting is what lifting weights is about.
You wasted too much time already. Changing lifts because you stagnate for a week or two. You probably kid yourself into thinking this is some form of 'periodization' or 'cycling.' It isn't.
"Once your shoes are on the platform and the hands touch the bar your time for thinking is over." Just. Be. Better.
Fuck what you read about changing programs and "shocking your muscles."
Get better at a few lifts, and when all your lifts look identical, from warm up to heavy single, then hammer the volume when you feel up to it.
Programs are written to be four weeks because that's when the new issue of "Men's Health/Muscle&Fitness/etc" hits magazine racks.
The people who are the strongest/fittest/etc stick with the basics. There are no exceptions to that.
Got a bar, plates and a rack?
Clean and press and back squat every day for the next 6 months.
I guarantee you'll be stronger than you are now by the end of it.
If you can't clean the bar, just press from the rack and do pullups throughout the day.
If you're cleaning and pressing, only do singles. Back squat should be kept in the 1-3 range.
Pressing from the rack? Keep the reps in the 1-3 range.
As for pullups, do half of your max reps 2-5 times a day. Or you could set a total number of reps to hit and do them in as many sets as you want throughout the day.
No equipment?
Go push your car, then, push it backwards, facing away or pull it walking backwards.
No car? Live in a big city where you'd get arrested for pushing a car around? Amish?
I'm not really into BW-only routines, but simplefit seems to work pretty well. One of the moderators ("cheapo") managed to make some remarkable progress simply by sticking with the routine and not program hopping after 6 weeks. (www.simplefit.org)
Love bodyweight stuff?
Pistols and muscle-ups for the next 6 months.
Live in an apartment?
Get something heavy (sandbag would be ideal in this situation) and hold it in the Zercher position. Walk up the stairs. However many flights it takes. If taking 1 step at a time is easy, do 2 steps at a time. Keep everything tight. I usually hate lunges because people wobble and shuffle around swinging and bending over but holding the weight in the Zercher position keeps you upright and walking up the stairs keeps your foot movement more "mechanical." When you get to the top get the bag in the press position and press it overhead. Reps will depend on the weight in the sandbag. Stick with strict overhead press or push press. Don't call your loose-as-fuck-sad-excuse-for-a-power-jerk a press if it isn't strict.
"But what about my upper back and scapula retractors and shit pulled from a physical rehabilitation clinic?!"
Have you ever held anything in the Zercher position?
Your upper, mid and low back will be worked, along with your biceps.
Food:
Eat real food. Food doesn't come in a box or ready-made.
3 times a day. Want to gain weight? More times a day. Want to lose weight? Fewer times a day or less food.
---EDIT---
If anyone actually goes forward with a "black and white" program (focusing on a select few lifts and hammering them frequently), let me know and keep me updated.
Stop switching programs to avoid adaptation.
Adapting is what lifting weights is about.
You wasted too much time already. Changing lifts because you stagnate for a week or two. You probably kid yourself into thinking this is some form of 'periodization' or 'cycling.' It isn't.
"Once your shoes are on the platform and the hands touch the bar your time for thinking is over."
--Donny Shankle
Thursday, June 9, 2011
I Just Can't Let This Idiocy Slide Under the Radar
Apparently, fitness needs to be marketed so heavily that it necessitates music videos.
I can't wait for this trend to expand and spawn a Crossfit movie.
Or maybe "P90X-Men."
"Zumba Warriors."
Without further deliberation, the TacFit music video:
I guess TacFit can make you look like a high school stoner who skateboards.
I can't wait for this trend to expand and spawn a Crossfit movie.
Or maybe "P90X-Men."
"Zumba Warriors."
Without further deliberation, the TacFit music video:
I guess TacFit can make you look like a high school stoner who skateboards.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Yo Bro
If I weren't doing the routine I'm currently doing (Squat, clean & Olympic Press) what the fuck would I be doing?
Well, I'd do some lifts that I really enjoy.
Those lifts are:
The incline press, the T-bar row and the squat.
To you bros out there that don't plan on competing in anything and simply lift for recreation, these lifts cover pretty much the trifecta of qualities gym rats desire: aesthetics, a pump and respect in the gym.
The Incline Press:
The incline press distributes the weight throughout the shoulders and chest, as opposed to the flat bench, with uses mostly the pecs to drive the weight up.
(Of course this is a generalization-- the triceps, front delts, upper back and legs also drive the weight, but for all intents and purposes, the flat bench is a "pectoral dominant" lift.)
Personally, I like to use the same grip I use on overhead press (shoulder width), which spares the shoulder joint and puts a lot of stress on the triceps.
Bill Starr is a big fan of the incline bench, and actually had it in the original "Strong Shall Survive" routine, but the paucity of incline benches in high school football training facilities forced him to alter the routine to feature the flat bench as the primary pushing exercise.
The T-Bar Row:
I'm not talking about the machine.
I've never used one and don't ever plan on doing so.
I'm talking about the barbell-in-the-corner/grappler T-bar row.
The T-bar is pretty much the exact opposite of the incline press in terms of pushing/pulling, which will keep things balanced.
I'm sure someone out there is crying about chinups/pullups, but take a look at guys doing chins with huge weights-- they're not very big.
Now, look at a (lean) powerlifter-- they're usually pretty dense motherfuckers.
Normally I recommend singles and working to max lifts, but rows are an accessory lifts and nothing more. Going for a 1RM T-bar row would just make you look like a jackass... so don't do it.
Sets of 3 and up are usually pretty good.
Strip sets are pretty effective with the T-bar row-- do a set, take a plate off, do another set, take another plate off and so on until there are no more plates.
The Squat:
Nobody respects a "Captain Upperbody."
Enough said.
Back or front, or both. It doesn't matter, just take it to full depth.
Reps: whatever you feel like. Maybe try max effort front squats followed by a high rep set of back squats.
Don't do the opposite-- high rep front squats aren't that great. Your upper back fatigues and rounds over before your legs are taxed.
You could cycle max effort front and back squats or just do one variation.
As far as frequency goes, just do what you feel like. For some that's 3 days a week, others that's every other day and for some people that is every single day.
Well, I'd do some lifts that I really enjoy.
Those lifts are:
The incline press, the T-bar row and the squat.
To you bros out there that don't plan on competing in anything and simply lift for recreation, these lifts cover pretty much the trifecta of qualities gym rats desire: aesthetics, a pump and respect in the gym.
The Incline Press:
The incline press distributes the weight throughout the shoulders and chest, as opposed to the flat bench, with uses mostly the pecs to drive the weight up.
(Of course this is a generalization-- the triceps, front delts, upper back and legs also drive the weight, but for all intents and purposes, the flat bench is a "pectoral dominant" lift.)
Personally, I like to use the same grip I use on overhead press (shoulder width), which spares the shoulder joint and puts a lot of stress on the triceps.
Bill Starr is a big fan of the incline bench, and actually had it in the original "Strong Shall Survive" routine, but the paucity of incline benches in high school football training facilities forced him to alter the routine to feature the flat bench as the primary pushing exercise.
The T-Bar Row:
I'm not talking about the machine.
I've never used one and don't ever plan on doing so.
I'm talking about the barbell-in-the-corner/grappler T-bar row.
The T-bar is pretty much the exact opposite of the incline press in terms of pushing/pulling, which will keep things balanced.
I'm sure someone out there is crying about chinups/pullups, but take a look at guys doing chins with huge weights-- they're not very big.
Now, look at a (lean) powerlifter-- they're usually pretty dense motherfuckers.
Normally I recommend singles and working to max lifts, but rows are an accessory lifts and nothing more. Going for a 1RM T-bar row would just make you look like a jackass... so don't do it.
Sets of 3 and up are usually pretty good.
Strip sets are pretty effective with the T-bar row-- do a set, take a plate off, do another set, take another plate off and so on until there are no more plates.
The Squat:
Nobody respects a "Captain Upperbody."
Enough said.
Back or front, or both. It doesn't matter, just take it to full depth.
Reps: whatever you feel like. Maybe try max effort front squats followed by a high rep set of back squats.
Don't do the opposite-- high rep front squats aren't that great. Your upper back fatigues and rounds over before your legs are taxed.
You could cycle max effort front and back squats or just do one variation.
As far as frequency goes, just do what you feel like. For some that's 3 days a week, others that's every other day and for some people that is every single day.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Overtraining
 |
| My face when I read about "overtraining." |
Here's an Anthony Ditillo article that was mentioned the Pendlay's forums.
I had read it before, but it's always interesting to reread Ditillo's stuff.
The best line in the entire article is:
" I am NOT going to tell you a fairy tale about 5 sets of this and 3 sets of that..."
Yes, overtraining is make believe.
 |
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Deal With It 5: Nothing but a Barbell
Let's entertain the "YO, YOU'RE STUCK ON A FUCKING ISLAND WITH NOTHING BUT A BARBELL-- WHAT DO YOU DO?!" scenario.
You paint a fucking face with your own blood on the plates and then proceed to lift them.
But instead of an innocuous-looking face à la "Wilson" from Castaway, draw something more like this:
Now that your barbell is decorated with demon pictures, you must decide how you're going to lift it.
This scenario precludes normal back squatting, so that's out. You could deadlift a lot, but that would probably end pretty quickly, seeing as how fast the low back fatigues.
You could squat clean the bar and then do front squats but most people can't squat clean (or power clean) enough weight to make a challenging front squat.
Personally, I'd go with the Zercher squat. I've done them and they're pretty fun. You can't handle as much weight as you can in the traditional back squat or deadlift, but they compliment both lifts well.
If you don't know how to do them watch this video:
Notice his depth-- most people just tap the top of their thighs with the bar, cutting the range of motion off. This guy goes all the way down. That's my preferred method of performing Zerchers (as with any squat.)
And yes, they are painful at first, but you'll just have to deal with it.
So, you've got what equates to a squat and a pull: the Zercher squat. Your back must isometrically contract to hold the weight, and that's on top of the deadlift to start each set (or each rep, if you prefer that method. [I know what I said about high volume deads, but in this case, due to the leveages of the lift, the percentage of your deadlift 1RM being used will be within a manageable range.] )
Now, you could do nothing but zercher squats, but why not make things more interesting with an upper body-centric lift?
You could clean and press/push press/etc if you knew how to clean.
If you do "football cleans" (bar lifted and then purposefully bounced off thighs, legs shoot out into sumo stance, bar is caught with wrists and back is bent back under the weight) then you have no business attempting any technical lift.
So, what do you do if you can't clean the weight?
Floor press, that's what.
I don't think I need to explain this lift.
I'd use a medium grip keep the reps low.
Personally, I'd probably go with the "belly toss bridge press."
You're probably wondering what the fuck that is.
Essentially, it's a "hip thrust" to a floor press.
Here's a description from OldtimeStrongman.com
"The 'bridge press' was an early precursor to the modern bench press. In this case though, no bench required and the bar began on the abdomen and was heaved to begin the lift. The lift was also aptly referred to at times as "the belly toss."
This is not something I'd do in a gym.
Ever.
But remember, we're on an island with a barbell, and if boredom sets in you might go insane and jump off a cliff or let the seagulls eat you alive.
Think of it like a horizontal clean and press.
Your hips and low back throw the weight up while your upper body press the weight.
I know many "old time" lifters would do this in the true bridge position, but I'm sure as fuck not going to throw several hundred pounds over me while balancing on my head.
That's just stupid.
Both of these lifts look extremely applicable to wrestlers.
I haven't ever wrested, (or practiced any combat sports, for that matter) but I do know that the hips and the ability to hold an opponent are very important, both of these are accomplished with the zercher squat and the bridge press.
These would work with a barbell, a sandbag or maybe even a keg.
Even if these lifts never become an integral part of your training, give them a try, if only to see what it would be like to not have a lot of the equipment you might currently use.
You paint a fucking face with your own blood on the plates and then proceed to lift them.
But instead of an innocuous-looking face à la "Wilson" from Castaway, draw something more like this:
Now that your barbell is decorated with demon pictures, you must decide how you're going to lift it.
This scenario precludes normal back squatting, so that's out. You could deadlift a lot, but that would probably end pretty quickly, seeing as how fast the low back fatigues.
You could squat clean the bar and then do front squats but most people can't squat clean (or power clean) enough weight to make a challenging front squat.
Personally, I'd go with the Zercher squat. I've done them and they're pretty fun. You can't handle as much weight as you can in the traditional back squat or deadlift, but they compliment both lifts well.
If you don't know how to do them watch this video:
Notice his depth-- most people just tap the top of their thighs with the bar, cutting the range of motion off. This guy goes all the way down. That's my preferred method of performing Zerchers (as with any squat.)
And yes, they are painful at first, but you'll just have to deal with it.
 |
| Dr. Steve Brule agrees. |
So, you've got what equates to a squat and a pull: the Zercher squat. Your back must isometrically contract to hold the weight, and that's on top of the deadlift to start each set (or each rep, if you prefer that method. [I know what I said about high volume deads, but in this case, due to the leveages of the lift, the percentage of your deadlift 1RM being used will be within a manageable range.] )
Now, you could do nothing but zercher squats, but why not make things more interesting with an upper body-centric lift?
You could clean and press/push press/etc if you knew how to clean.
If you do "football cleans" (bar lifted and then purposefully bounced off thighs, legs shoot out into sumo stance, bar is caught with wrists and back is bent back under the weight) then you have no business attempting any technical lift.
So, what do you do if you can't clean the weight?
Floor press, that's what.
I don't think I need to explain this lift.
I'd use a medium grip keep the reps low.
Personally, I'd probably go with the "belly toss bridge press."
You're probably wondering what the fuck that is.
Here's a description from OldtimeStrongman.com
"The 'bridge press' was an early precursor to the modern bench press. In this case though, no bench required and the bar began on the abdomen and was heaved to begin the lift. The lift was also aptly referred to at times as "the belly toss."
This is not something I'd do in a gym.
Ever.
But remember, we're on an island with a barbell, and if boredom sets in you might go insane and jump off a cliff or let the seagulls eat you alive.
Think of it like a horizontal clean and press.
Your hips and low back throw the weight up while your upper body press the weight.
I know many "old time" lifters would do this in the true bridge position, but I'm sure as fuck not going to throw several hundred pounds over me while balancing on my head.
That's just stupid.
Both of these lifts look extremely applicable to wrestlers.
I haven't ever wrested, (or practiced any combat sports, for that matter) but I do know that the hips and the ability to hold an opponent are very important, both of these are accomplished with the zercher squat and the bridge press.
These would work with a barbell, a sandbag or maybe even a keg.
Even if these lifts never become an integral part of your training, give them a try, if only to see what it would be like to not have a lot of the equipment you might currently use.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Deal With It 4: The Swing
The kettlebell swing is being touted as the "exercise to end all exercise."
This, of course, is complete idiocy and claims like that are just used to sell more garbage from Dragondoor.
The problem I have with the swing is has less to do with the fact that it's simply swinging a bowling ball with a handle through the legs for countless repetitions, it's the name and the confusion associated with it.
--From here on, the traditional, badass Swing I am referring to will be capitalized, so as not to be confused with the contemporary swing.
The Swing is not a high-rep conditioning movement.
It was, at one point, a contested lift. The goal was heavy poundage, not "conditioning." (Note: What the fuck are these conditioning-addicted clowns preparing for? How much "conditioning" do they need?)
To find out more about the history of the movement, click these links:
http://www.usawa.com/history-of-the-one-arm-dumbbell-swing/
http://www.usawa.com/single-handed-dumbbell-swing/
http://www.usawa.com/the-one-arm-dumbbell-swing/
Numerous sites claim that the contemporary high-rep swing was performed by "old time strongmen."
Some just gloss over the slight differences between the Swing and the dumbbell snatch.
While they did perform one-handed snatches, they did not perform high-rep swings.
I guess claiming the strongmen of yore performed gay conditioning exercises with light kettlebells adds a touch of importance to the shit you're peddling. "LEARN THE SECRETS OF OLDTIME STRONGMEN- THE LIFTS THEY USED TO OBTAIN INHUMAN, RUGGED STRENGTH!"
Complete. Bullshit.
If I traveled by vehicle all the time, and had no equipment other than 1 dumbbell, then I would practice the Swing. I know a lot of Internet goofballs claim everything under the sun is a "total-body movement" but the Swing truly is.
Normally I'd snicker at a program that doesn't use the legs to an extreme degree, but I believe one could achieve decent strength and mass with the Swing alone.
If you're wondering how this shit was done, then check out this video:
The style employed in the above video is known as the British style. The weight is picked up with one hand and swung backwards to build momentum. Also, the dumbbell is unevenly loaded--the backside has anywhere from 10 to 40 pounds more weight on it. This really helps in getting the weight overhead. After the initial swing, the weight is heaved overhead in one fluid motion. The one problem I have with the video is his depth in the split... however, seeing as how that video is literally 1 of 2 videos featuring the Swing, I can't complain all that much.
The other style is known as the French style. When using this style, the weight is swung without the preliminary swing and is evenly loaded. It is more like a "neutral grip one handed dumbbell split snatch." I don't recommend this style because less weight is used, generally.
Now, let's say you're a traveling business person or something, and you travel around in your car. You still want to be badass, but the idea of doing bodyweight-only routines and shit like that makes you cringe, thanks to all the 135 pound pullup/pushup fiends that promote calisthenics as the Holy Grail of fitness. You have one dumbbell and roughly 1/2 to 2/3rds of your bodyweight in weight plates.
My advice to you is to perfect the Swing. Your entire posterior chain will be worked thoroughly, along with your shoulders/triceps (even more so if you lower the weight under control) and legs (assuming you split deep enough.)
"How deep should I split?"
As deep as fucking possible. Only a bitch would suggest otherwise.
Your split should look like this:
A long time ago, throwing bodyweight over your head via the Swing was considered a laudable goal.
If you're wondering what kind of rep scheme you should use stop right now and disregard reps over one.
Just do singles and switch hands every rep (or set).
20-40 work set singles (divided between both hands), with weight increases after every 5 or so singles would be my plan of attack.
This lift was at one time an Olympic lift, so treat it like one--do it all the fucking time. Do it as frequently as possible. On days you're too beat up to go heavy, practice with lighter weights.
Even if you're not someone who lives out of his or her car, the Swing could very well be a main lift if you're into "all around" lifting. It's a really fun lift to do and it isn't very hard to master.
Now get to Swinging the right way.
And for no reason at all:
For more on the Swing, check out these links:
http://ditillo2.blogspot.com/2008/05/greatest-all-time-performers-in-one-arm.html
http://gubernatrix.co.uk/2007/11/one-arm-dumbbell-swing/
This, of course, is complete idiocy and claims like that are just used to sell more garbage from Dragondoor.
The problem I have with the swing is has less to do with the fact that it's simply swinging a bowling ball with a handle through the legs for countless repetitions, it's the name and the confusion associated with it.
--From here on, the traditional, badass Swing I am referring to will be capitalized, so as not to be confused with the contemporary swing.
The Swing is not a high-rep conditioning movement.
It was, at one point, a contested lift. The goal was heavy poundage, not "conditioning." (Note: What the fuck are these conditioning-addicted clowns preparing for? How much "conditioning" do they need?)
To find out more about the history of the movement, click these links:
http://www.usawa.com/history-of-the-one-arm-dumbbell-swing/
http://www.usawa.com/single-handed-dumbbell-swing/
http://www.usawa.com/the-one-arm-dumbbell-swing/
Numerous sites claim that the contemporary high-rep swing was performed by "old time strongmen."
Some just gloss over the slight differences between the Swing and the dumbbell snatch.
While they did perform one-handed snatches, they did not perform high-rep swings.
 | |
| Even Mulder can't believe the shit he's reading... |
Complete. Bullshit.
 | |||||
| "They're perpetuating lies!... AND MY SISTER WAS ABDUCTED BY FUCKING ALIENS! SHE WAS SPACE RAPED!" |
If I traveled by vehicle all the time, and had no equipment other than 1 dumbbell, then I would practice the Swing. I know a lot of Internet goofballs claim everything under the sun is a "total-body movement" but the Swing truly is.
Normally I'd snicker at a program that doesn't use the legs to an extreme degree, but I believe one could achieve decent strength and mass with the Swing alone.
If you're wondering how this shit was done, then check out this video:
The style employed in the above video is known as the British style. The weight is picked up with one hand and swung backwards to build momentum. Also, the dumbbell is unevenly loaded--the backside has anywhere from 10 to 40 pounds more weight on it. This really helps in getting the weight overhead. After the initial swing, the weight is heaved overhead in one fluid motion. The one problem I have with the video is his depth in the split... however, seeing as how that video is literally 1 of 2 videos featuring the Swing, I can't complain all that much.
The other style is known as the French style. When using this style, the weight is swung without the preliminary swing and is evenly loaded. It is more like a "neutral grip one handed dumbbell split snatch." I don't recommend this style because less weight is used, generally.
Now, let's say you're a traveling business person or something, and you travel around in your car. You still want to be badass, but the idea of doing bodyweight-only routines and shit like that makes you cringe, thanks to all the 135 pound pullup/pushup fiends that promote calisthenics as the Holy Grail of fitness. You have one dumbbell and roughly 1/2 to 2/3rds of your bodyweight in weight plates.
My advice to you is to perfect the Swing. Your entire posterior chain will be worked thoroughly, along with your shoulders/triceps (even more so if you lower the weight under control) and legs (assuming you split deep enough.)
"How deep should I split?"
As deep as fucking possible. Only a bitch would suggest otherwise.
Your split should look like this:
 | |
| This kind of depth may not happen immediately, but it is the goal. |
If you're wondering what kind of rep scheme you should use stop right now and disregard reps over one.
Just do singles and switch hands every rep (or set).
20-40 work set singles (divided between both hands), with weight increases after every 5 or so singles would be my plan of attack.
This lift was at one time an Olympic lift, so treat it like one--do it all the fucking time. Do it as frequently as possible. On days you're too beat up to go heavy, practice with lighter weights.
Even if you're not someone who lives out of his or her car, the Swing could very well be a main lift if you're into "all around" lifting. It's a really fun lift to do and it isn't very hard to master.
Now get to Swinging the right way.
And for no reason at all:
 |
| Crying Mulder. |
For more on the Swing, check out these links:
http://ditillo2.blogspot.com/2008/05/greatest-all-time-performers-in-one-arm.html
http://gubernatrix.co.uk/2007/11/one-arm-dumbbell-swing/
Thursday, March 17, 2011
YO BRO NO POST
Haven't updated in a while.
I will soon.
For now:
Next time: a post about an old lift with a name that got raped:
The swing.
Kettlebells, Pavel and poods need not apply.
EDIT:
I will soon.
For now:
Next time: a post about an old lift with a name that got raped:
The swing.
EDIT:
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Deal With It 3
This is the 3rd installment of a series of posts that deal with training with limited equipment.
First off, let's get something straight:
Without a rack and/or barbell, you almost certainly won't win any major powerlifting contests, Olympic lifting contests or the Crossfit games (I know everyone is heartbroken about that...)
The standards of strength persist because they are easily quantifiable.
Training with minimal equipment basically precludes you from excelling in certain strength sports. That's just the way it is. Not that it's a big deal if you don't have dreams to compete in said strength sports, but some people get crushed if you tell them that they can't have every measure of strength by doing sissy squats and burpees.
Training with little or nothing puts you in a different ball game.
So what? Why not get extremely strong at what you can do?
You have no reason not to.
Regan Bridge didn't let anything stop him.
First off, let's get something straight:
Without a rack and/or barbell, you almost certainly won't win any major powerlifting contests, Olympic lifting contests or the Crossfit games (I know everyone is heartbroken about that...)
The standards of strength persist because they are easily quantifiable.
Training with minimal equipment basically precludes you from excelling in certain strength sports. That's just the way it is. Not that it's a big deal if you don't have dreams to compete in said strength sports, but some people get crushed if you tell them that they can't have every measure of strength by doing sissy squats and burpees.
Training with little or nothing puts you in a different ball game.
So what? Why not get extremely strong at what you can do?
You have no reason not to.
Regan Bridge didn't let anything stop him.
This guy lives in Middle-of-Nowhere, New Zealand. He lifts only rocks.
500 pound stone lift at 225? Awesome.
Regan doesn't sit around browsing the Internet for the "perfect" plan, he fucking lifts rocks.
And guess what? He espouses daily training.
Hmmm... there might be a connection between being strong and training every day...
From what I've read about him, he basically warms up with lighter stones; shouldering, lapping, pressing and the like, sometimes doing partials with the stone he wants to lift that day, and then he goes for it. He probably doesn't do scap pushups with a groiner to an up down dog and then spend 25 minutes foam rolling.
If you look at their technique, it's basically a deadlift to a front/zercher squat to a hip extension/power clean motion. Add in some stone pressing and you have covered everything.
Now, if you're in a situation that prevents you from using conventional training equipment, I'm not suggessting you fill your quaint suburban garage with boulders. You could, but it might be difficult to find and store lifting stones.
You could, however, get a keg.
The way I lift kegs is like this:
Then, just reverse the motion to lower it.
Pictures from: http://www.wrestler-power.com/wrestler-strength-keg-lift/
You can fill them with whatever you like. I'd start with concrete. If you plan to lift the keg the same way, then it won't matter that it's bottom heavy. Once you get stronger, add more concrete.
When you fill the keg entirely, it will weigh about 335 pounds, according to www.mmarising.com.
Since the keg will be pretty permanent, you'll have to use your bodyweight to do any pushing exercises. I'd go with handstand pushups. This type of routine is very similar to some of the stuff that Bryce Lane writes about. (http://www.ironsports.tv/brute.htm) He suggests certain rep ranges and frequency. I do not. Lift as often as you can. Do lifts that allow you to handle the most amount of weight. The keg lift shown above will allow for more weight than shouldering or even loading.
The pushing exercise is just to fill in the gaps. It isn't the focus, of course.
This kind of "program" could involve a sandbag, a rock(s) or something else that's really heavy. The point is, you're not just sitting around wishing you had a barbell.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Deal with it part 2
This is part of a series of posts concerning training with little to no equipment.
I said in my last post that I'd discuss making your own equipment... well, there's been a change of plans.
This post will be about training with only bodyweight.
This post is not about extolling bodyweight training, but is more about a "worst case scenario."
Weight training will always trump other forms of training in my opinion.
I'm sure there will many whining about gymnasts and how "totally jacked" they are...
Yeah, they sure are. All 5 foot 3, 130 pounds of them. We can also completely disregard the fact that the learning curve on what they do is incredibly high, and that they are almost always start at a very young age...
Let's not forget how "safe" gymnastics is, too! Wouldn't want to hurt your knees and elbows with weights!
I mean, it's not like Bart Conner, 1984 Olympic gold medalist was diagnosed with osteoarthritis at the age of 22. He probably didn't have nine surgeries over the course of his career, either... (That story is here: http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/spotlight/2001-02-08-conner.htm )
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not training with weights, but the high horse that BW only people ride is pretty flimsy. Like their lower backs probably are.
Without further delay...
What I would do if I had absolutely no access to weight training implements (barbells, dumbbells, rocks, kegs, etc.)
Handstand pushups
Why? Your entire upper body is worked.
Single leg squats (a.k.a "pistols")
Why? Your entire lower body is worked.
Rollouts (or walkouts, slideouts, etc.)
I bet you thought I was going to put pullups/chinups here. I thought quite a bit about this and decided that if one wanted this type of routine to carry over to other things, then the lower back would need to be stressed. Pullups don't do that sufficiently. The rollout, however, does do this. It also stresses the entire midsection, along with the shoulders, chest, triceps and lats. (Side note - the motion somewhat reminds me of a pullover.)
Since this scenario precludes the use of any equipment, pullups/chinups can't be done.
Rollouts with an ab wheel are out, too.
But, that doesn't mean we can't use something that achieves the same motion.
Look at the picture above.
Now, since we don't have a wheel at our disposal, we can't do what she's doing.
We can, however, use a towel/cloth/shirt/etc on a slick floor and do the exact same motion.
What if you don't have a slick surface?
If you're stuck with carpet, you could use furniture "sliders," a plastic lid, a baking pan or even a piece of laminated paper or cardboard. Get creative.
(Edit: Just tried a "rollout" with a phone book on carpet. It worked well.)
You could also walk your hands out in front of you (where they would be at the end of a rollout) and push up.
These are called Lalanne pushups. Personally, I'd do them with a neutral grip, on my fists.
Jack Lalanne had this shit figured out years ago.
They work the similar muscles.
If you want to mimic the rollout motion, then just walk your hands out and then walk them in as far as you can. That's one rep.
I'd focus on those three movements and work up to doing them every day.
There you have it-- a program that requires basically nothing.
I said in my last post that I'd discuss making your own equipment... well, there's been a change of plans.
This post will be about training with only bodyweight.
This post is not about extolling bodyweight training, but is more about a "worst case scenario."
Weight training will always trump other forms of training in my opinion.
I'm sure there will many whining about gymnasts and how "totally jacked" they are...
Yeah, they sure are. All 5 foot 3, 130 pounds of them. We can also completely disregard the fact that the learning curve on what they do is incredibly high, and that they are almost always start at a very young age...
Let's not forget how "safe" gymnastics is, too! Wouldn't want to hurt your knees and elbows with weights!
I mean, it's not like Bart Conner, 1984 Olympic gold medalist was diagnosed with osteoarthritis at the age of 22. He probably didn't have nine surgeries over the course of his career, either... (That story is here: http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/spotlight/2001-02-08-conner.htm )
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not training with weights, but the high horse that BW only people ride is pretty flimsy. Like their lower backs probably are.
Without further delay...
What I would do if I had absolutely no access to weight training implements (barbells, dumbbells, rocks, kegs, etc.)
Handstand pushups
Why? Your entire upper body is worked.
Single leg squats (a.k.a "pistols")
Why? Your entire lower body is worked.
Rollouts (or walkouts, slideouts, etc.)
I bet you thought I was going to put pullups/chinups here. I thought quite a bit about this and decided that if one wanted this type of routine to carry over to other things, then the lower back would need to be stressed. Pullups don't do that sufficiently. The rollout, however, does do this. It also stresses the entire midsection, along with the shoulders, chest, triceps and lats. (Side note - the motion somewhat reminds me of a pullover.)
Since this scenario precludes the use of any equipment, pullups/chinups can't be done.
Rollouts with an ab wheel are out, too.
But, that doesn't mean we can't use something that achieves the same motion.
Look at the picture above.
Now, since we don't have a wheel at our disposal, we can't do what she's doing.
We can, however, use a towel/cloth/shirt/etc on a slick floor and do the exact same motion.
What if you don't have a slick surface?
If you're stuck with carpet, you could use furniture "sliders," a plastic lid, a baking pan or even a piece of laminated paper or cardboard. Get creative.
(Edit: Just tried a "rollout" with a phone book on carpet. It worked well.)
You could also walk your hands out in front of you (where they would be at the end of a rollout) and push up.
These are called Lalanne pushups. Personally, I'd do them with a neutral grip, on my fists.
They work the similar muscles.
If you want to mimic the rollout motion, then just walk your hands out and then walk them in as far as you can. That's one rep.
I'd focus on those three movements and work up to doing them every day.
There you have it-- a program that requires basically nothing.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Deal with it
Some people are generalists.
I'm not.
I have chosen to become good at three lifts. My goal is to improve those poundages. Losing weight, gaining weight or maintaing weight does not factor into my goal. Some people have no goals, whatsoever. Then they pickup Crossfit and start wearing Vibrams 5 fingers.
Bad idea.
Save yourself thousands of dollars and don't "drink the Kool-Aid."
Or they start looking into Men's/Women's Health/Fitness and find silly bullshit to do. The squat-to curl-to overhead press is not a total body movement... It is a travesty.
Dumbass.
The fitness industry thrives off of novelty. To keep these magazines running, writers do their best to combine, rework, complicate and add twists to the fundamental movements: pushing, pulling and squatting.
Do you really think a fitness magazine would last if every week they had this routine printed on every page?
Overhead press
Squat
Deadlift (or clean if you know how to properly execute the movement)
Sets: As many as you want.
Reps: As many as you want.
Now, what if you don't care about being the most muscular or the strongest?
Well, all hope is not lost. The tool for becoming the strongest with a barbell is, surprise! A barbell.
If you're saying to yourself "I don't want/have a barbell! How will I become better than the vast majoritiy of everyone in America by not being a lazy, useless fatass?!"
Use what you have. That's how.
Scenario 1:
You have a barbell.
You don't need to read any further.
Awesome.
Scenario 2:
You have machine(s).
See scenario 4.
Scenario 3:
You have a dumbbell. Any dumbbell that is not adjustable is pretty useless for this scenario. You can't progress, therefore it will have to be relegated to assistance movements if desired.
Just do whatever you'd do with a barbell, but with a dumbbell.
An "all-round" program could include the dumbbell clean and press and either the single leg squat or the "Bulgarian" split squat.
If it were me, and I only had access to one dumbbell and one dumbbell only, I'd use the one arm dumbbell swing (not the idiotic kettlebell-type swing...)
This movement will be the topic of another blog post, but here's a video of the movement. (Personally, I'd go deeper into the split, but that's just me.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn5Vcb8ICvc
Scenario 4:
You have nothing.
No weight training implements whatsoever.
Unless you're a bodybuilder, machines aren't that great.
They do have their applications but that is a topic for another post.
Use your own bodyweight. Pick a push, a pull and a squat and go nuts with them.
Personally, I'd choose the handstand pushup, the pullup and the single leg squat (pistol.)
You could pick any variation of those.
If you're a woman, something like pushups on an elevated surface (chair, counter, stairs, etc.)
negative pullups or rows of some kind and squats (lunges, reverse lunges, stepups, jump squats, Russian lunges, Bulgarian split squats, etc.)
As far as sets and reps, well that depends on your goals.
("Toning up" is not a real fucking goal, and even thinking that phrase makes you an idiot.)
A general rule is the harder the movement is, the more strength related it will be. If the movement is easy, it will build more endurance because of the amount of reps you can do. (i.e. handstand pushups for sets of 2 or 3 vs regular pushups for sets of 15-20.)
In the next post, I will discuss making your own weight training implements.
I'm not.
I have chosen to become good at three lifts. My goal is to improve those poundages. Losing weight, gaining weight or maintaing weight does not factor into my goal. Some people have no goals, whatsoever. Then they pickup Crossfit and start wearing Vibrams 5 fingers.
Bad idea.
Save yourself thousands of dollars and don't "drink the Kool-Aid."
Or they start looking into Men's/Women's Health/Fitness and find silly bullshit to do. The squat-to curl-to overhead press is not a total body movement... It is a travesty.
The fitness industry thrives off of novelty. To keep these magazines running, writers do their best to combine, rework, complicate and add twists to the fundamental movements: pushing, pulling and squatting.
Do you really think a fitness magazine would last if every week they had this routine printed on every page?
Overhead press
Squat
Deadlift (or clean if you know how to properly execute the movement)
Sets: As many as you want.
Reps: As many as you want.
Now, what if you don't care about being the most muscular or the strongest?
Well, all hope is not lost. The tool for becoming the strongest with a barbell is, surprise! A barbell.
If you're saying to yourself "I don't want/have a barbell! How will I become better than the vast majoritiy of everyone in America by not being a lazy, useless fatass?!"
Use what you have. That's how.
Scenario 1:
You have a barbell.
You don't need to read any further.
Scenario 2:
You have machine(s).
See scenario 4.
Scenario 3:
You have a dumbbell. Any dumbbell that is not adjustable is pretty useless for this scenario. You can't progress, therefore it will have to be relegated to assistance movements if desired.
Just do whatever you'd do with a barbell, but with a dumbbell.
An "all-round" program could include the dumbbell clean and press and either the single leg squat or the "Bulgarian" split squat.
If it were me, and I only had access to one dumbbell and one dumbbell only, I'd use the one arm dumbbell swing (not the idiotic kettlebell-type swing...)
This movement will be the topic of another blog post, but here's a video of the movement. (Personally, I'd go deeper into the split, but that's just me.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn5Vcb8ICvc
Scenario 4:
You have nothing.
No weight training implements whatsoever.
Unless you're a bodybuilder, machines aren't that great.
They do have their applications but that is a topic for another post.
Use your own bodyweight. Pick a push, a pull and a squat and go nuts with them.
Personally, I'd choose the handstand pushup, the pullup and the single leg squat (pistol.)
You could pick any variation of those.
If you're a woman, something like pushups on an elevated surface (chair, counter, stairs, etc.)
negative pullups or rows of some kind and squats (lunges, reverse lunges, stepups, jump squats, Russian lunges, Bulgarian split squats, etc.)
As far as sets and reps, well that depends on your goals.
("Toning up" is not a real fucking goal, and even thinking that phrase makes you an idiot.)
A general rule is the harder the movement is, the more strength related it will be. If the movement is easy, it will build more endurance because of the amount of reps you can do. (i.e. handstand pushups for sets of 2 or 3 vs regular pushups for sets of 15-20.)
In the next post, I will discuss making your own weight training implements.
Monday, January 31, 2011
If you're not squatting you're wasting your time
Lunges, split squats, single-leg RDLs, step ups and the like are all pretty much a waste of time. Just squat.
Hey look! It's the obligatory Paul Anderson picture!
I know it's in vogue to praise the deadlift, but how many people can deadlift with any real frequency?
Not many. While the deadlift is an awesome movement, it isn't as useful as the squat in terms of mass building, weight loss or strength. You can train the squat as much as you want. Literally. Ask John Broz about that.
The deadlift is another matter altogether. I've tried high volume deadlifts with no success. Many "Hardcore/Functional/Spartan/lame-ass" gyms like to give the deadlift exorbitant praise because they're probably too incompetent to teach (or perform, themselves) a full squat. It doesn't take a lot of practice to learn, it can be performed day in and day out and it will do pretty much anything you want it to do, be that gain or lose weight.
If you're sitting at your computer reading this, thinking "I can't do a full squat!" then you should probably get a new hobby... or try this stretch that helped me:
I know it's in vogue to praise the deadlift, but how many people can deadlift with any real frequency?
Not many. While the deadlift is an awesome movement, it isn't as useful as the squat in terms of mass building, weight loss or strength. You can train the squat as much as you want. Literally. Ask John Broz about that.
The deadlift is another matter altogether. I've tried high volume deadlifts with no success. Many "Hardcore/Functional/Spartan/lame-ass" gyms like to give the deadlift exorbitant praise because they're probably too incompetent to teach (or perform, themselves) a full squat. It doesn't take a lot of practice to learn, it can be performed day in and day out and it will do pretty much anything you want it to do, be that gain or lose weight.
If you're sitting at your computer reading this, thinking "I can't do a full squat!" then you should probably get a new hobby... or try this stretch that helped me:
I used to hold on to a beam to force myself into a squat.
And don't round your back like this idiot.
Focus on keeping a tight arch in your lower back.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
When being "good" just isn't enough...
This blog will be dedicated to lifting, my opinions, my opinions on lifting and not being a total failure.
Things you sure as hell won't see on this blog:
-"Functional" fitness (whatever that means...)
-HIT training
-light weights
-inspirational "mindset" posts
-isolation movements
-machines
-kettlebells
-Vibrams
-5x5
-low volume
-"Hardgainers"
-bodybuilding
-being a useless waste
-vegan bullshit or anything similar
-the movie "300," "Spartan training" or any of that other silly bullshit
-"innovative exercises"
-pullup obsession
-squatting less than 3 times a week (minimum)
-"core"
-muscle confusion
Now, on to more important matters...
Since this blog is about lifting, I might as well give you the rundown on my current routine:
Day 1 - Press (Olympic style) and Squat (Olympic style)
Day 2 - Power Clean and Squat
Alternate days 1 and 2 every day, basically.
That's right, no pullups, rows, lunges, abz, curls or the beloved bench press.
The bench makes my shoulders pop and feel less than optimal. I am not a powerlifter, nor do I ever plan to compete in the sport (it's hardly a sport anymore with the wraps and suits...) so I see no reason to do the flat bench press.
If you're wondering what the Olympic Press is, it's an overhead lift that resembles a military press.
The similarities end there. To find out more about it, look at some of the posts over at Anthony Ditillo's blog "The Tight Tan Slacks of Dezso Ban." (It isn't a gay porn site, trust me.)
Here's a picture of the Olympic Press:
(I don't lean back quite that far.)
My reps hardly ever exceed 5. I generally use singles, doubles and triples, except on power cleans, which are done for singles and only singles. No "metcon" bullshit. I lift to max every workout because my max is different every session. I don't shoot for a PR every day, but I do lift to my maximum for that particular day. (It's called a circa max. You can read about it in numerous weight training books.)
That's my program and I'm sticking to it for not 4 weeks, 6 weeks or even 8 weeks, but indefinitely.
I want to improve on these lifts and only these lifts so why would I switch after a month? Because Westside told me to? Because some goofy moron on TV told me about MUSCLE CONFUSION!? Muscles don't get confused. I don't need to switch movements to prevent "overtraining." Why do lifts that don't have a full carryover to the lifts I want to improve? And this silly overtraining bullshit is ridiculous; if I'm tired my daily max will reflect this, thus keeping me out from under weights I can't lift, if I continue to feel tired I'll just eat more and/or sleep more. Problem solved.
So, now you know what I do. In future blog entries I'll discuss things that really piss me off.
It's time you stopped sucking and started being better than you were before you read this.
Things you sure as hell won't see on this blog:
-"Functional" fitness (whatever that means...)
-HIT training
-light weights
-inspirational "mindset" posts
-isolation movements
-machines
-kettlebells
-Vibrams
-5x5
-low volume
-"Hardgainers"
-bodybuilding
-being a useless waste
-vegan bullshit or anything similar
-the movie "300," "Spartan training" or any of that other silly bullshit
-"innovative exercises"
-pullup obsession
-squatting less than 3 times a week (minimum)
-"core"
-muscle confusion
Now, on to more important matters...
Since this blog is about lifting, I might as well give you the rundown on my current routine:
Day 1 - Press (Olympic style) and Squat (Olympic style)
Day 2 - Power Clean and Squat
Alternate days 1 and 2 every day, basically.
That's right, no pullups, rows, lunges, abz, curls or the beloved bench press.
The bench makes my shoulders pop and feel less than optimal. I am not a powerlifter, nor do I ever plan to compete in the sport (it's hardly a sport anymore with the wraps and suits...) so I see no reason to do the flat bench press.
If you're wondering what the Olympic Press is, it's an overhead lift that resembles a military press.
The similarities end there. To find out more about it, look at some of the posts over at Anthony Ditillo's blog "The Tight Tan Slacks of Dezso Ban." (It isn't a gay porn site, trust me.)
Here's a picture of the Olympic Press:
My reps hardly ever exceed 5. I generally use singles, doubles and triples, except on power cleans, which are done for singles and only singles. No "metcon" bullshit. I lift to max every workout because my max is different every session. I don't shoot for a PR every day, but I do lift to my maximum for that particular day. (It's called a circa max. You can read about it in numerous weight training books.)
That's my program and I'm sticking to it for not 4 weeks, 6 weeks or even 8 weeks, but indefinitely.
I want to improve on these lifts and only these lifts so why would I switch after a month? Because Westside told me to? Because some goofy moron on TV told me about MUSCLE CONFUSION!? Muscles don't get confused. I don't need to switch movements to prevent "overtraining." Why do lifts that don't have a full carryover to the lifts I want to improve? And this silly overtraining bullshit is ridiculous; if I'm tired my daily max will reflect this, thus keeping me out from under weights I can't lift, if I continue to feel tired I'll just eat more and/or sleep more. Problem solved.
So, now you know what I do. In future blog entries I'll discuss things that really piss me off.
It's time you stopped sucking and started being better than you were before you read this.
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